WATCHING YOU ON THE SIDE-LINE

Multiple times, I tried to put myself in my daughter’s shoes.

I tried to see the world through her eyes, tried to imagine her fears, hopes, and dreams.

I sat on the floor watching her during a meltdown. I watched her fight to control her Asperger’s and monster Type 1 diabetes.

I listen to her little broken heart as she blamed me and pleaded for me to cure her.

I listened as she got mad at Jesus for being different and then asked for forgiveness afterward.

I know the feeling, of standing in the passage listening to her prayers, knowing full well I have no cure – no one has.

The hardest thing to do is to prepare your child for the world outside. She knows I’m there deep inside although she feels sometimes, I have left her.

I’m always a step behind her to catch her, but she needs to learn how to control it.

She needs to learn to push her beyond her boundaries and see her goals through to the end.

I will always be there to cheer her on & motivate her on the side-line.

I will be there to pick her up when she falls or be her soft landing. The thing is with her she will never understand the value of determination and failure if she doesn’t experience it herself. That is the way she thinks. Most of the time children with Asperger’s only grasp the concept of a situation when they truly experience a situation first-hand.

For them, the world sometimes may feel black and white. Wrong and Right.

Her love for long-distance running started at a young age, under watchful eye she would run on our family farm next to the dam for kilometers at her own space.

In fact, this is the only sport activity that she is interested in.

This year, her teachers suggested that she run the 1200m at her school’s color athletics day. Since she is in school for children with learning disabilities, I thought we must try it out.

Since the learners are not very competitive, they have a way of interacting and motivating each other, although they are in two different color teams.

Nika agreed to run the 1200m track and I don’t think she knew how far it is.

Mommies nerves were a little bit wrecked on athletics day. I had no idea what her sugar levels will do since it’s the first time that we are attempting any sports activity after diagnoses.

So, I really prepared for any situation that might occur. The best I could do with the assistance of teachers was to prepare her for the race. We kept it simple.

We are instructed her to run at her own phase, there is NO winner NOR looser. If she decided that she can’t anymore it's fine, but if she can, she needs to pull it through till the end.

At the starting point, I took off my shoes, with mindset, that I might have to run with her even if it means that I might pass out since I’m not the fittest mom on the field.

I stood in the middle of the field shouting and tried to keep her motivated but had to keep my space too. That was truly hard to do.

Lap One – Kept her pace although she was last.

Lap Two – I could see her facial expression; she wasn’t sure if she needs to push through or call it quits. Then this angel arrived, a matric girl joined Nika in the second lap. She was in the other team but throughout the remaining laps, she ran with Nika. She kept talking to her and motivating her that she can do this. My heart melted and I could keep the tears away. When they reached the finish line, I wiped the tears away. My daughter has finished her 1200m and her face glowed.

She learned a life lesson, that if you take on any task and see it through with determination that you can complete it. Even if it takes longer than expected.

Danika's small act of kindness gave this little 10-year-old girl old the confidence to push through till the end. This unselfish act resulted in such a beautiful story & Danika became a role model & superhero for Nika.

As a mother, I have learned that although it's hard, cheering them for them on the side-line, doesn’t mean that you are a bad parent. You are teaching them life lessons.

- Life itself is your teacher and you are in a state of constant learning

- As a parent, you provide the structure of security to let them know even if they fail its ok

- Where we cheer on each other’s loved ones to succeed as much as own, this teaches them compassion.

- Every milestone is a celebration.

- Showing kindness towards those that are different and embracing our imperfections.

- Courage is not the absence of fear but doing something in spite of fear.

“Encouraging a child means that one or more of the following critical life messages are coming through, either by word or by action: I believe in you, I trust you, I know you can handle this, You are listened to, You are cared for, You are very important to me.”

~ Barbara Coloroso

(This blog is in honor of every learner at Langerugskool that competed in the athletics last week. They taught us that diagnoses do not define who they are. To every parent, grandparents, brothers, and sisters who supported these kids - you are all champions).